The Danger of Unhealthy Relationships

September 16, 2014

Teacher: Pastor Stan

The Danger of Unhealthy Relationships

Judges 16

Wow, what an amazing bible study given to us from Pastor Stan, the Pastor of Faith Fellowship Baptist Church. This is surely a word we can apply to all our lives whether if we are in a relationship with someone, or in our friendships or relationships with relatives. Coming from Judges chapter 16, the scriptures give us account of the deadly affair between Samson and Delilah and the following will list several key points and advice.

  

Verse 1: one of the Hebrew meanings of a harlot or prostitute is a “user”. Usually we tie or connect ourselves to people who are users, who mean to do us harm.

·      One way to tell if you are in a bad relationship is if a person is a user, an individual is being used. The story of Samson and Delilah begins with Samson not realizing that he was going to connect himself to a user.

o   Some things to consider if the person is a user: if they are a minus or plus are they willing to give or add to your life or take or subtract, the way you guys met, Ex: sometimes we go into wrong places thinking that we are about to meet someone good, what is their character like?

§  A useful quote from the bible study is something we should all ready think about that “All unhealthy relationships end in death.” –Pastor Stan- (Ex. Samson died because his relationship with Delilah led to his downfall.) There is a cost in being in an unhealthy relationship, which causes spiritual, mental, emotional, and even physical death.

Question to think about: Have you ever been in a relationship where your hopes, dreams, beliefs, values, was the same, different, or supported by the person whom you were with? (ex. Family, friends, loved ones)

Verse 1-2: Neither Delilah or Samson had the same motivations, hopes or dreams, values,

                                   

SAMSON	DELILAH
Occupation: judge	Occupation: prostitute
Culture, he was an Israelite	Culture, she was a philistine
Samson served God	Delilah served herself
Samson had a separate group of friends	Delilah hung with the crew of men

Questions to ask yourself about the person whom you’re in a relationship with: Who do they want to please, themselves, others, you etc…? Another useful is to never underestimate that question in relation to relationships even though Samson made plenty of mistakes it was still obvious that he wanted to please God.

Because what was the motive she had for being with Samson?

Easy the motive was money. Delilah oozed selfishness, finding your drug, what is in it for me, that is a sign of an unhappy relationship.

Verse 5: One of biggest the signs of an unhealthy relationship is when a person would do anything for money. When money is the number one motivator, it is a sign that they would sacrifice anything or anyone to gain the means.

            You find out as you go in life, you will have to make some tough decisions, especially concerning people’s whose main focus is to maintain and increase their money. Notice the philistines told Delilah ahead of that time that if she helps them to murder Samson then they will pay her bountifully. Some people are so willing to kill or help murder people they are close to, just for a buck, and there no thoughts about taking a life or hurting others.

            When money is a major motive, it is red flag that it is not a healthy relationship.

Verse 7-15: Notice the pattern throughout these verses, though the amount of time was never stated from the first time Delilah asked him about the source of his strength, to the final time. It is implied and shown that Samson never told Delilah that he loved her. Because it is common for Satan to utilize users to catch us off guard by slipping in the word “love” and before you know it, we begin compromising our values or beliefs. Because of the fact that Delilah told Samson that he loved her and, if he did he would not withhold his secret from her. It is then that Samson told her the truth. Therefore, users will use “love” to use you.

            A closing remark is that:

The difference between Love and Lust

Love always seeks what it can give,

Lust always seeks what it can get.

-Pastor Stan-

This bible study will continue next Tuesday, so please share or pass this around! And join us at JFC!