Posts
September 23, 2014
Teacher: Mark
The Danger of Unhealthy Relationships
Part 2
Mark delivers the powerful conclusion of part 2 of Pastor Stan’s series about “the Danger of
Unhealthy Relationships.” Continuing from Judges 16:15-31 we find ourselves at
a showdown between the user Delilah and God’s chosen judge Samson.
A brief recap is
that a lot of times, we find ourselves returning to these for these reasons:
·
Comfort/
familiarity
·
The
idea that we need
·
The
feeling that they need us
·
Time,
past
·
Fear
of life without that person
·
Security
Hence the question was raised last
Tuesday? Did Samson really love Delilah?
Well
the answer is: Samson must have loved lusting
her.
Verse 4-5 shows that: in the love that Samson had
for her, others such as the Philistines and Israelites took notice of it as
well. People observe our own relationships with people on the daily basis and
they themselves recognize if they are healthy and unhealthy relationships. In
addition we as participators in the relationships send messages to people about
our relationships whether we are doing it unconsciously or consciously. These
messages are being sent to people, which is not always about what we say, but
it can be about what we do or what we do not say.
For
example: we all have best friends, who are strictly best friends, but people
may claim that that certain person is our boo or lover, according to what our
action towards that person.
Hence,
the Philistines knew to check with Delilah about Samson because
they knew he had eyes only for her.
Another point is that a user is not going
to tell you their occupation. No introduction. No one goes into a relationship
planning on being used, so ask yourself:
What
message am’ I from this person by being in a relationship with them?
A lot of times
people send messages that they do not intend on sending, thereby creating an
unwanted image.
The message we
received from Delilah in this situation is that she is a girl on mission. She
is doing all this for money. The questions looming in her mind were: What does
it take to make Samson weak? Not what can I do to make you better but what can
I do to destroy you?
Verse 6-12 And the message Samson returned to
Delilah throughout these verses is that he still loved her, because he continuously
came back to Delilah, even though she continuously kept putting him in harms
way. If Samson removed himself from the situation, then she never would have
been able to cut his hair. However his love for lust caused him to go back
again. The more time he spent with her the more he was deceiving himself.
The more time you invest in an unhealthy
relationship, the stronger it becomes, and the less you will get in return.
Verse 15: Samson
never questioned Delilah’s motives about his strength, and still entertained
her by giving her these lies and refusing to turn them away. Users may justify
as to why you love them with your actions, about why you may love or lust after
them. Users also have a distorted sense of logic. Delilah was only concerned
about her reputation and her wants and desires. She was making excuses as to
why Samson did not tell her, and as to why he should tell her his secret.
In all aspects these
unhealthy relationships can be with anybody friends, relatives, church members,
neighbors. We must evaluate our relationships and identify if they are healthy.
We must do it and cut them off before these users in our lives reach our heart,
which is the most vulnerable part of us. In the beginning Delilah was in his
head, asking questions in an upfront manner, but she did not get to the truth
until she got to his heart.
The bible says,
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart,
for
everything you do flows from it.
How much of your heart
is in this relationship? Because now you need to see is how much have you
invested your heart into it. Satan wants your heart, the essence of who you
are, because he is after the core. We give the users the value of what we have
given them. Satan’s mission is to get us to agree with him in our hearts, and
surrender it to him, instead of to God.
Verse 17-18: Delilah betrays Samson.
Verse 17: “He told her all his heart….” Delilah
was able to tell that Samson told her his whole heart. Samson identified
himself unto God and showed who he served and by revealing these deep secrets
and purpose and source of his power. To who and how he belonged to God. Satan
wants to know how we are connected to God.
Because
that means we opened up ourselves to a drastic change, we leaving ourselves
vulnerable for the things that we value to be violated.
We will not compromise
until we have a change of heart about it. Have you felt that separation with
God, lesser connection?
1
Corinthians 10:13
13 No temptation has overtaken you except
such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to
be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the
way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
God gives us ways
to escape from these temptations, and so we
need to make sure we do not completely cut off our relationship with God.
Unhealthy relationships's goals are to cut off our healthy relationships with others and primarily with God.
Verse 18-19: This verse indicates Delilah was the tormenter. She initiated and inflicted the pain, for she was in a different place, she was in
his heart and that was how she weakened him. When the heart is weak, so goes the
mind, and so goes the body. Unhealthy relationships will make a show of your
weaknesses and users will show how you have fallen and what they did. Users do not
care, because they are looking for an audience.
Verse 29-31: in spite of what Samson has done, and the
relationship he tarnished with God, he still wanted to please God. We need to
rethink of restoring relationships that we created as being unhealthy, so that
we can have healthy relationships with people who want us to be better. While
Samson was physically blind he still saw God who was the one person who was still there.
When everyone
else is mocking, persecuting, blaming, shaming you, then always remember that
God is still there, because he always is. This is the number one relationship
that must stay healthy.
Samson went down
in glory because he focused and turned his heart back to God. The more time in
your unhealthy relationships the longer time you give Satan to plan and destroy
you. The unhealthy ones might contaminate our healthy friendships, so we need to be
careful and cautious. And always remember:
God will restore what you
may have broken.
Think
about your unhealthy relationships in your life. Have you given all of your
heart in this relationship?
